pcbigboy

I am a 47 year old male with A LOT of challenges. Yet, like everyone else, I have the need to "Do The Deed" as it were :)

You see, in a world where sex is EVERYWHERE, those of us who have physical challenges get lost in the shuffle because the vast majority of society seems to have this "Fear" (For lack of perhaps a better word) that those of us guys who are physically challenged can't somehow "Get It Up" while women who are physically challenged are faced with an EVEN WORSE stigma of having to deal with able-bodied men who seemingly either wonder if or can't imagine a physically challenged woman can have sex (Let alone get pregnant & bear children)

And that's just for starters

It's true that there ARE success stories where physically challenged people (Both men & women) have found true love & happiness either with an able-bodied person or another physically challenged person. I envy them. I just wish I was among them. Maybe I will be someday (I haven't given up on my search for Miss Right yet :) )

What makes me physically challenged is I have a MILD case of Cerebral Palsy I was born with it. In addition, I have Epilepsy & Sleep Apnea. I've also undergone Weight Loss Surgery by getting a Gastric Lap Band

Mind you, I mention all this to show you the challenges I face EACH & EVERY FUCKING DAY Some people face EVEN MORE problems

As a collective result of these challenges, I haven't been able to relate to women in an intimate & sexual manner. I can relate to them as friends. That's the easy part. But taking it that extra step is a whole different piece of news altogether

That said however, I'm partly to blame. I tend to either "Chicken Out" or become incredibly dense whenever the opportunity to become intimate (Let alone sexual) with a woman whenever the opportunity presents itself. This happened more times than I care to count during my High School years (Never did enjoy the experience of life at a major college as I never got the chance to go to college)

DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!!!!

I know nice looking boobs when I see them. I know a good looking hot piece of ass when I see it too. But when it comes to taking the final step of introducing myself to that hot babe & asking her out on a date, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I guess it's out of fear that she might be break things off once she eventually realizes that, due to my disabilities, it takes A LOT more effort for me to get it up than it would most able-bodied guys my age. I think she'd also be turned off by the size of my cock as well as it's BARELY 7 inches long (It's big in circumference, but not due to having sex)

What have I done over the years to fulfill the need you ask? Simple

First I started out with a subscription to The Playboy Channel (This was WAY in the early 1990s when it was simply a Premium Channel & not the Pay-Per-View channel that most people know it as today). I'd watch (And tape - There being no DVRs back then) some porn flicks & watch those while masturbating

Next, I started going to the Adult stores buying videos, vibrators & other toys (I even bought a LIFE SIZED blow up sex doll once). While I had the sex doll, I once decided to fill it with WATER instead of air to give it a more life-like feel to it when it came to weight. Suffice to say, the experiment blew up (As did the doll shortly after that) :)

When I reached the point where THAT wasn't enough, I turned to the Internet. This was when P2P file sharing networks popped up & porn was being WIDELY shared (I admit to my part of sharing :) ). I started downloading that stuff using EVERY keyword I could possibly think of. One problem. I encountered stuff that either turned me off or made me sick (Man, there are some real sick puppies out there!)

The more videos I downloaded, the more I craved the hardcore stuff (In a twisted way, there's NOTHING like seeing a pregnant bitch getting fucked. It's a turn on for me - Especially when a guy dumps his cum inside her :) ). I try to stay away from anything that resembles rape, although some of that also looks fake. I also try to walk a tight rope when it comes to videos with teens in them by making sure they have WELL KNOWN figures in the porn industry (Like Jenna Haze for example - Man SHE IS HOT! :) ) in them

Does all this make me a sex addict or just someone who's improvising as I fulfill my sexual desires & needs? I'd rather not go out on some local strip & pick up a REAL fuckin' whore with GOD KNOWS HOW MANY diseases if I don't GET BUSTED for soliciting an uncercover cop OR run into some HOT CLASSY babe & wind up doing something REALLY DUMB & STUPID by banging her even when she doesn't want it OR start having sex with married women like Tiger Woods did

As I said, I sure hope all this doesn't make me some sort of sex addict or sex freak. Apologies if it comes across that way as that's NOT the intent. I just want to express myself about this in the simplest way I know how - STRAIGHTFORWARD & BRUTALLY HONEST & figured I would use this to tell you more about me & my sitation